Looking For A Feedback

In your conclusion you might start with the narrow thesis statement and then move outwards to discuss more broad implications in the field or perhaps for the future here’s an example looking at our assignment on leadership so beginning the conclusion you restate your thesis as we have seen successful leadership needs to be dynamic in order to respond to changing circumstances although this person’s directive leadership style had been effective in the past changes in the organization of culture had created a more competent and committed team which performed better with less direction and more delegation this mismatch between leadership style and organizational culture led to serious problems of staff retention motivation and productivity.

In this case the degree of damage only became the parents on the departure of the marketing manager and recovery was a long-term process this underlined this underlines the need for more effective management training closer monitoring of management performance and improved channels of communication within organizations if such problems are to be avoided so you can see here the conclusion began with a restatement of the same sentence that we started with we looked at in step three then the main points of the essay are briefly repeated and the significance of closure is looking at what was important and what lessons might be learned in a broader context so step five is where you’re going to draft your essay now as you can see the good preparation you have done so far is going to make it much easier for you to enter this writing process where people have blocks where they’re unable to write it’s very often because they haven’t done the preparation that’s necessary so drafting is the process of creating a logical flowed of the information in your notes looking for example at the different questions you’re trying to address here and taking the information from your notes that relates to the different questions that you’re going to discuss.

You’ll find it useful to have a look at that presentation on paragraph writing here remember that ideas can be connected with standard transitions expressions by repeating key terms and synonyms using demonstrative pronouns like this these that such introductory phrases such as the ones we’ve just looked at this is a further example and pattern of given two new information so you can begin by mentioning something that you’ve already said and then adding a new information to it in other words you should try to make overt obvious connections between sentences to make it easier for your reader to follow your arguments so you’ve reach step 6 and this is an opportunity for you to get feedback on what you’ve written now if you’ve got plenty of time than the opportunity you may be able to talk with a mentor or arrange a visit to the student learning center to receive feedback another possibility is for you to work together with a study partner from your course you could read their essay they could read your paper.

Personal Statement in a Cover Letter

If I was writing a cover letter to work for Chevron and ask me why I want to work there it’s like saying like oh because I need this job to advance my salary and alright that’s my career and I need a nice saw glass door that you guys pale on right I want to write that instead I’ve read something like you know uh you know I have an interest in petroleum I like to advance the industry and I think I could I bring like a certain skillset to Chevron right so that’s that’s the same principle that you need apply to you your University statement is is you know of course you’re getting this career advancement through through the University and of course you need it to crew to advance in a lot of careers but what they really want to know is what you can offer them not what what you can offer them and what not not what they can offer you because they already know what they can offer you. Read more on Edusson.

Number two there should be a logical tie to all your selling points a really common thing I see with personal statements is that someone will write like oh I did all this volunteer work for Key Club or I I did I was a personal trainer for this for a 24 hour fitness and then they’re right and this is why I should be a student at your school they’ll is no logical tie and this is probably the hardest part of our writing the personal statement because you probably have all these good qualities about you and then and then you then you want to on tied in to like to you being good student and being a quality student for them a lot of these times I think the best thing to solve this is tap someone else proofread it.

Because it’s not only someone else proofread your paper is that they’re the ones that saying like okay you kind of went from saying your volunteer here and then you said your good student layer seniors needs to be a tie here and having some proofread that can can help a lot um number three cut out most adverbs I want to count one things I’ll see where often is no I’m really interested in engineering you know instead of saying I’m really interested in engineering to say I’m interested in engineering because blah blah blah blah blah or a lot of people will say oh as the president of you know the engineering Club at my school like significantly increased membership don’t cut up the significantly to say as the engineering president or engineer club president on my school I increased membership and then when you make us when you make a statement like that like a like a qualifying statement meaning you’re selling yourself to them you either you want to make it qualitative or you want to use their imagination.